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May. 14th, 2005 @ 02:49 am I can't sleep (random journal entry for SAS)
I just keep replaying what I did tonight, I almost killed someone.

It was like I was dreaming, I couldn't help myself, the guy attacked my Dad's friends. What was I supposed to do?

I learned here at the Citadel that you never shoot to kill, you shoot to stop, and if they happen to die in the process at least you're alive.

A firearm is cleaner than what I did though, I guess its one thing to be at one end of pistol and pulling the trigger, what I did was different, and I don't know if I can do it again....

...... I cut someone, and I cut them deeply... and I didn't stop, until he stopped, and when I thought it was over.... he took his chance to do more harm....

... and now nothing feels right.

What am I going to do? I don't know if I can do this again.
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Date:May 15th, 2005 08:09 pm (UTC)
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You did what you had to do to preserve your life. You're doing what cops do but without all the training. I'd suggest getting some counseling, this "job" is pretty high-pressure.